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Jets sign Sanchez to record deal
Posted By Frank Mazzola On Jun 11 2009 @ 6:24 pm In New York Jets | No Comments
New franchise quarterback gets paid, promises to “earn every penny”.
Dear Mark Sanchez,
Congratulations on your new $60 million contract, including $28 million guaranteed. That's a nice chunk of change for somebody who has not yet received a single snap in an NFL game.
You're new in town, so let me clue you in about how we New Yorkers tend to live our lives and how we regard our sports and entertainment heroes. We have no problem with our idols earning far more than any fifty of us combined may see in our lifetimes. We understand that they possess rare skills that provide such moments of excitement that they ought to be paid well above what, say, a research scientist who is trying to cure AIDS or a welfare case worker who attempts to help those in need would make. We're fine with that.
However, we're sort of funny about something. Right or wrong, rationally or not, we insist that those who draw these large contracts actually play up to the value of them. Now, I have no idea how many touchdown passes need to be thrown in order to equal $60 million, but, to most New Yorkers' way of thinking, unless you are some bizarre amalgam of Peyton Manning, Dan Marino and Joe Montana, it's safe to say you're not going to live up to the expectations of….well, most Jets fans.
Therefore, you need to understand the Faustian deal you just put your signature to. From here on out, nothing you do will ever be good enough again. If you throw three touchdowns in a game, Jets fans will only the remember the interception from the first quarter. They will boo you mercilessly for the slightest mis-step. Expect every member of your family to come under scrutiny and it might be an idea to try to keep your dating life quiet. Oh, and considering you're a pretty handsome fella, get ready to have your sexual orientation become a source of massive debate.
Still, at the end of the day, you'll have those many millions to keep you happy no matter what. New Yorkers know that money doesn't buy happiness, but there's not one of us who wouldn't hesistate to give it a shot.
Have a good career and we wish the best…until you fail. Then, like Brett Favre before you, we'd like to see drawn, quartered and dragged out of town by wild horses.
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