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What Happens In the Locker Room Ends Up In the Press

Posted By Sean Neumann On Aug 31 2009 @ 10:02 am In Minnesota Vikings | 1 Comment

So you think Sage or Tavaris is the answer?

The latest reports out of Vikings camp have the players split between, ahem, Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson in the quarterback “race” in Minnesota. As if taking sides on this is going to make a difference, the players have seemingly gone on some Quixotic quest to usurp the installation of Sir Favre the Indecisive as the starter two weeks into camp. It's one of the biggest non-stories revolving around the Favre drama.

Seeing him toss passes to high school kids is more compelling than hearing guys in the locker room grouse about the burden of having a Hall of Famer with more Super Bowl rings than the entire organization has ever won take over under center. They sound like whiney housewives in the suburbs trading gossip about the hot new MILF who just moved in and got their slack-jawed husbands to suck in his gut while he was mowing the lawn when she passed by with a stroller. The good news is that Favre is not there to steal any snaps from Rosenfels or Jackson, he's there to win games and when push comes to shove that epic story of greatness about him splitting the team will fade after the first joke he cracks on the sideline after he engineers a 72-yard touchdown drive. Trust me, Brett Favre gives the Vikings their best chance at a deep run in the playoffs.

Tonight he makes his first full attempt at showing what he's got left in the tank when he's slated to go for the entire first half against the Texans. More than likely, we'll see Favre try to air a couple out, pull a couple audibles out of the closet, and basically play it safe as he gets used to his new teammates. Expecting him to go 15-21 with two touchdowns in a half is asinine as his job revolves around using play action and just the threat of him being glimpses of the old Brett Favre to keep teams from stacking eight men in the box to break Adrian Peterson's jaw. 

The fact is that with the defense the Vikings have they should win eight games just on general principle. With Favre leading a ball-control attack (which should be in decent form by week five) the Vikings can expect to either win the NFC North outright with 12 or 13 wins or duke it out with Chicago down the stretch because Green Bay may score 28 points a game, but will give up 42 because whomever decided it was a good idea to switch to 3-4 defense in a run-oriented conference is basically retarded because they are not Baltimore. Whether it's on the manure covered field of Lambeau or under the dome in Minneapolis, the Packers will be in trouble in a division they could have had in the bag had their personnel people not decided to be innovative or whatever. As for Chicago, they are the scariest team in football because when you combine a big, ball control offense with a franchise quarterback, you generally can pull 12 or 13 wins with a yawn because Jay Cutler is a Greek God.

Regardless, if Peterson is not on the bench after the first series, I will be positioning myself in a light tower on Tuesday and shooting warning shots at Brad Childress's crotch.

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