My day is made
This should come as no shock, but Favre is still really good and as a friend of mine pointed out, Brett has a little Roger Clemens in him and really doesn't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. That's why he was able to dissect the Packers like a dead frog. What was even less surprising was Favre swaggering onto the field as if he still owned the place even though he was being lustily booed and called names not to print in a publication as high-minded as this one.
What I especially loved during the broadcast was Troy Aikman's retarded observation that no one won in the Favre/Green Bay divorce. No kidding, Troy. Especially since Ted Thompson apparently didn't know what everyone else in America knew: That Favre will keep coming back until he can't walk anymore. Yeah, yeah, I kknow we weren't in the room with Thompson when Favre probably cried and said he oculdn't do it anymore, but still, let's pretend we're grown ups for a minute and understand that people say shit that they don't mean all the time.
“I love you.”
“I swear officer, I only had two drinks.”
“We didn't touch the pension fund.”
“Matrix Revolutions is a fine film and Keanu Reeves is an incredible actor.”
“I am retiring (sniff, sniff) as quarterback of .”
Seriously, Favre didn't fool anyone except Thompson, who was right to want to hand the reins over to the talented and younger Aaron Rodgers, but obviously didn't plan very well for the succession because the Vikings just sacked him 14 times in their last two meetings. Oh, did I mention that the Packers vaunted switch to the 3-4 just turned to rancid cake frosting because Favre just lit them up for seven touchdowns in two games. Where's your God, Fritz Schurmer, now?
What I especially love about this whole drama is that for weeks and weeks and months and months every sports writing moron from Los Angeles to Portland, Maine has been speculating about Favre's negative effects on the lockerroom, Favre's diminished skills, Favre's age and possible health problems, his elbow, the tides, whether or not having Cancer rising in Sagittarrius is going to affect Favre's Alpha waves and cause Adrian Peterson's knee caps to fly off.
Get over it, the Vikings are now officially the best team in football. Eat me, New York Giants, you just got whupped by an Eagles team that lost to Oakland. Oh, hai, Indianapolis. Would you like to try running at the Williams Wall? Pittsburgh? Puhlease. Two flukey turnovers won you that game. Bring your sorry asses to neutral site so you can feel the full wrath of Favre's revenge as he lays waste to the NFL in a scorched-earth strategy that would make Ghengis Kahn proud. Better yet, he's doing it with a boyish grin and playing like a grown man who took all that bullshit written about him damaging the Packers and being a selfish bastard to heart. Watch in awe as Favre makes all of your lives a living hell for daring to besmirch his name after he left pieces of his body on fields from Dallas to Pittsburgh (thanks, Pete Gent) for your enjoyment.
Hey, Green Bay, you might want to think twice before saying naughty things about the guy who saved the franchise.
Ah, karma. Sweet, sweet, karma. Oh, and I am so glad I took the Vikings in this one? What bookmaker made the Packers a three-point favorite? Are you guys at Caesar's back to smoking crack?
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Written by Sean Neumann