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Get on the Bus

Posted By Lea Anderson On Nov 10 2009 @ 4:00 am In Baltimore Ravens | No Comments

It's one thing to start off slowly as the Ravens have done consistently for the last 4 out of 5 games, but it another to not even get on the bus ride to Cincinnati.  The Ravens apparently didn't make the Greyhound on Sunday and were a shadow of themselves from the previous week, losing 7-17 to the Bengals.  

Watching the game was pure frustration but it pointed out some obvious questions that need answering as the schedule only gets tougher with only 2 “give me” games in the upcoming weeks.  Let's assess what went wrong:

· The Ravens secondary got played like a violin in the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra.   QB Carson Palmer shredded, sliced, diced and minced the secondary like he was a contestant on Bravo's Top Chef.  (Garlic, anyone?)

· RB Cedric Benson pulled out the John Deere lawn mower and went for 117 yards rushing.  Rushing for a buck and 17bcents equals a loss.

· QB Joe Flacco got sacked four times because the Bengals secondary put WR Derrick Mason and Mark Clayton on “Lockdown: Paul Brown Stadium.”

· RB Ray Rice's rice was gummy and sticky with 48 yards on 12 carries.  

· Evidently CC left his game plan on the bus, because he kept calling these sideline passing drills  to Mason with no success. Do you not know the intermediate passing game?  Either 1) your receivers don't like to get popped over the middle or 2) you think it's more efficient for your TE to have a heaping 3 catches (get it? Todd Heap).  Imagineering is not only for Disney.

· Oh Matty.  Folks in the League called your defense “plain vanilla” but it is blander than a no carb, no bread, no fried food and no dairy diet.  Yes, you want your waistline to shrink but no one said to be skinnier than Lindsay Lohan.  Get some fried chicken, swine, Wonder bread and chocolate milk, because your defense is looking thin and outmatched.

· Tackling is good for your health, SS Ed Reed.  You may not be tackling the Gilette razor at home Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear, but you could at least wrap up.  Herm Edwards gave a great demonstration on this specialty on ESPN.

The Bengals have flipped the switch on The Corner and they are to Marlo Stanfield as the Ravens are to Avon Barksdale.  Somebody's corner just got snatched.  Time to man up, show up and get get up Ravens, or you might be going fishin' like Kenny, Ernie and Charles do in May and June on the NBA on TNT. 

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