A losing streak and a long road trip are not what the Montreal Canadiens need right now. I specifically watched the Habs-Wild game last night very closely because I wanted to try and figure out precisely what is wrong with this team. Let me tell you – the list is very long! The issues ranger from poor puck movement from the defense, turnovers in the neutral zone, zero pressure whatsoever on the forecheck, an inability to force other teams to take penalties etc. etc. Rather than give a detailed diagnosis of what the problems are, why they are occuring and how to fix them; in the spirit of the holidays, here is a poem that will help readers understand what’s wrong with the Montreal Canadiens. Enjoy!
THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG IN MONTREAL
There is something wrong in Montreal,
Pretty soon they’ll be in line to draft Taylor Hall.
Here are some problems that the Habs face,
If Carolina wasn’t so awful, they’d be in last place.
Let’s start with the coach who doesn’t believe in scoring,
His trap has made this team incredibly boring.
Injuries to key players have been a big concern,
Andrei and Brian – Montreal can’t wait for your return.
In goal, Carey Price has been typically tough to beat,
Although not according to Halak’s agent’s tweet.
Hamrlik and Spacek have been good almost every night,
Bergeron and O’Byrne have sunburns from over-exposure to red light.
Gorges and Mara are steady on D,
Hal Gill is slower than the zamboni.
Up front – Mike Cammalleri has delivered the goods,
He has scored more times than Tiger Woods.
A good game from Scott Gomez has been a rarity,
With the way he turns over the puck, he looks like a charity.
Andrei Kostitsyn has been inconsistent, but much better as of late,
The number of players Gainey should have drafted instead of him is now only eight.
After being called up from the minors, Sergei Kostitsyn has shown some flare,
But you know who should be in Hamilton – Maxim Lapierre.
Plekanec is not signed long term, I don’t know why Bob continues to wait,
Yet under contract next year is Laraque – and he can’t even skate.
Pacioretty, Moen and Metropolit have shown that they can impress,
You know you’re bad when you start thinking they should have kept Latendresse.
There you have it; a summary of all the problems with this team,
The hope of a twenty-fifth Stanley Cup is quickly becoming an unrealistic dream.
Bob Gainey – please make a trade, or change something ‘pronto’,
Habs fans – remember things could be worse, you could be a fan of Toronto.
Happy Holidays everyone!
About the Author
Written by Corey Krakower
I am the Director of NHL Content & Habs writer for ProSportsBlogging.com; I have spent 8 seasons behind the bench as a minor hockey coach; and I am the future GM of the Montreal Canadiens (according to my mom). I spend my days managing the Harrow Sports brand in my hometown of Montreal and I moonlight as a Hockey Advisor for Pi Athlete Management. Most importantly, I'll throw anyone under the bus for a laugh.