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This is Not a Wrangler Ad, Brett

Posted By Sean Neumann On Jan 25 2010 @ 4:12 am In Minnesota Vikings | No Comments

Brett, You Would Have Been Better Off Running Out of Bounds

Five turnovers is murder, especially when two of them are in the red zone and could have given you a 14 point lead in the fourth quarter. What's worse is when you are in field goal range some moron is in the huddle who isn't supposed to be. Seriously, can anyone count? And please, Adrian, I know you have problems with fumbling, but you muffed a simple handoff. You know, that little thing you do hundreds of times a year where the quarterback hands you the ball? How about you spend the next five months carrying a football everywhere you go treating it like a newborn baby? Do we need to surgically implant glands in your hand that secrete stickum? Why does someone with a build like a Leonardo sculpture have problems carrying a football?

I also love pass interference calls when the ball is six feet over the receiver's head and the defender doesn't touch him until the ball is going past his body. Great call, ref. Especially in overtime, you blind dummy. Oh, and let's hear it for overtime being essentially decided by a coin flip. You know what's awesome? Brett reenacting a touch football game in his real comfortable jeans and flipping the ball to some nickel back with 19 seconds left on the clock. I want to put bricks through 14 Samsungs at Sears tonight.

Watching that game was painful. The Vikings rolled up over 500 yards of offense and dominated the clock, but kept putting the ball on the turf flatly giving the game away. You freaked Reggie Bush out and were 20 feet from the end zone and you put the ball on the ground. Adrian, should we start calling you Brent McLanahan? What was sickening was seeing a club that turned the ball over 17 times all season do it five times against a team they thoroughly outplayed.

I have to give it up to the Saints for not just hanging in there, but focusing on two things: Beating the living hell out of Favre and going after the ball every time Peterson touched the ball. Every play had at least five pass rushers and every time Peterson ran someone was wrenching at his arm. So, a team that has been known for being the crappiest in the history of football was more resourceful and heady when they had to be and they are going to smoke Indy in two weeks.

But you know what? If you took the Vikings today, you beat the spread. Eat me, Vegas.

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