Word on the cheese-filled streets of Green Bay is that the Packers have now added Yoga to their fitness and training arsenal. Yes, you heard that right, yoga. Yoga. As in the stuff women in spandex do.
Okay, you probably sense that I’m about to go into a little bit of a mocking fit here and I know what you’re going to say. “But yoga creates flexibility.” “Yoga is a great way to stretch the muscles.” “Yoga is a tough workout.”
Nice try there, Bikram.
Here’s what I’m saying. Screw yoga. I, for one, don’t want to see Bryan Bulaga in some kind of half-assed Jane Fonda spandex outfit with bright red wool leg warmers doing downward dog with his face up Ryan Grant’s butt. And would you really want to be behind Mark Tauscher when he does the “wind relieving pose” and lets loose some methane from the beer and half-dozen Johnsonville brats he had for dinner?
Come on guys, you’re football players! You beat up guys who do yoga!
I hope, for all our sake, that Packer opponents don’t hear about Yoga classes at Lambeau.
I have a feeling Vince Lombardi would take one look at Will Blackmon doing yoga, and make him do wind sprints until he vomited up every drop of herbal tea he’d ever downed.
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Written by Dan Ames