The Habs are getting a dose of what it’s like to play the Habs. Washington and Pittsburgh were unbelievably frustrated playing Montreal because of the Canadiens’ ability to force turnovers, Montreal’s constant denial of second chances in close, being outplayed on special teams by the Habs; and all of that despite having control for extended periods of time and outshooting the opposition in the process. There have been many issues prevalent in these two games (PP, PK, discipline, goaltending, turnovers, breakouts etc. etc.); but the only silver lining is that you are never in trouble until you lose a home game. I vote that the expression be changed to you are never in trouble until you lose a home game or if you get shutout the first 2 games of the series by a goalie who is in his late twenties, and has won only 34 of 103 career regular season games and who has never previously appeared in a playoff game until this season. Just my opinion!
Rather than dwell on the games, I will express some frustration by creating the Montreal Canadiens version of the History Will be Made videos.
Video #1 – The camera is focused and zoomed in on Benoit Pouliot watching the game from the press box. The slow motion and music kick in. The camera, still on Pouliot, slowly zooms out and the line reads: “WHAT IF MONTREAL HAD KEPT THE RECEIPT?”
Video #2 – The slow-moving clip shows 2 players on a 1 on 1, the defender being Hal Gill. The attacker gets right around Gill and scores a goal. The camera zooms in on a disappointed Gill and the line reads: “WHAT IF THAT VIDEO OF GILL IN REAL TIME SPEED, WAS ACTUALLY IN SLOW MOTION AS IT APPEARED TO BE?”
Video #3 – The video takes place away from the ice, at Carey Price’s birthday party. He is surrounded by his teammates and is handed his last gift. He opens it up and it’s revealed to be a box of condoms. Price smiles and throws it into a giant pile of the same gift. The camera pans over to Halak, and the line reads: “WHAT IF THE HABS GAVE HALAK SOME PROTECTION TOO?”
Video #4 – This one is a slow motion assortment of clips showing all of Scott Gomez’ stupid penalties in the playoffs. The final few seconds are zoomed in on Gomez sitting in the box, and the line reads: “BASED ON THIS FOOTAGE, WE WOULD RATHER NOT PUT IN AN OFFENSIVE JOKE, BECAUSE GOMEZ MIGHT OVERRACT AND DO SOMETHING STUPID”
Video #5a – The video is a collection of a few different plays where Marc-Andre Bergeron tries to pass the puck up the ice, but it results in a turnover and a scoring chance on Montreal. The camera then focuses on a visibly upset Bergeron, and the line reads: “WHAT IF BERGERON TRIED TO PASS TO THE OTHER TEAM, INSTEAD OF HIS OWN TEAMMATES?”
Video #5b – Also a Bergeron video, this one starts off with the music and a statistic on the screen which says THE HABS ARE 7-0 WHEN MARC-ANDRE BERGERON PLAYS LESS THAN 17 MINUTES. Then the video turns to a shot of Bergeron sitting on the bench for the remaining 25 seconds. The camera moves to a shot of Jacques Martin and the line reads: “WHAT IF JACQUES MARTIN DIDN’T GET AROUSED WATCHING BERGERON PLAY?”
Video #6 – This video is various 5-second clips of Andrei Kostitsyn carrying the puck through the neutral zone and losing it, AK46 missing the net and Kostitsyn getting caught out of position in his own zone. After the goal against, the screen fades to black and the line reads: “WHAT IF INSTEAD OF DRAFTING KOSTITSYN, THE CANADIENS PICKED CARTER OR BROWN OR SEABROOK OR PARISE OR GETZLAF OR BURNS OR KESLER OR RICHARDS OR PERRY?”
Video #7 – There is a visual on a car that keeps stopping and starting. The camera heads over to the car and you can see on the inside that Tomas Plekanec is driving, but keeps stalling. He keeps adjusting the shift-stick but the car just keeps failing. He slams the steering wheel in frustration and the line reads: “WHAT IF PLEKANEC COULD HANDLE THE CLUTCH?”
These videos can not be produced, broadcasted or transmitted without the express written and/or oral consent of Corey Krakower and ProSportsBlogging.
About the Author
Written by Corey Krakower
I am the Director of NHL Content & Habs writer for ProSportsBlogging.com; I have spent 8 seasons behind the bench as a minor hockey coach; and I am the future GM of the Montreal Canadiens (according to my mom). I spend my days managing the Harrow Sports brand in my hometown of Montreal and I moonlight as a Hockey Advisor for Pi Athlete Management. Most importantly, I'll throw anyone under the bus for a laugh.