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INCEPTION – Possible Instances in the NHL

Posted By Corey Krakower On Jul 26 2010 @ 4:22 am In Around The Rinks | 1 Comment

I recently watched the movie Inception, and aside from being blown away by the movie itself, it got me thinking if the art of entering someone’s subconscious and planting an idea can actually be done. I started doing some research and found several instances where I believe Inception was performed on some of hockey’s greatest minds.

Instance of Inception: On July 1, 2008, Wade Redden entered the mind of Glen Sather to try to convince him to sign a 6 year contract with the Rangers.

Conclusion: That was the last time Redden ever successfully did something.

Instance of Inception: On September 30, 2008, Canucks GM Mike Gillis finished his letter grade evaluations for his players from the previous season. An unnamed Vancouver employee incepts the idea in Gillis’ mind that it would be funny if some players had their grade put on their jersey.

Conclusion: Roberto Luongo is presented with the C.

Instance of Inception: On October 1, 2009, 29 NHL GMs entered the subconscious of Brian Burke to try and figure out how they can beat the Leafs. This is done by finding the location of a person’s secrets; which are usually kept in a safe place with a security system installed.

Conclusion: I guess you know what happens when your security system is Mike Komisarek and Luke Schenn.

Instance of Inception: On July 20, 2010, angry NHL executives invade the mind of Gary Bettman and incept the notion that Ilya Kovalchuk’s new contract is not legitimate, and that Lou Lamoriello should be fined.

Conclusion: Bettman quickly issues Lamoriello the maximum allowed $5 million dollar penalty for cap circumvention. The fine is payable over 17 years – 13 payments of $384,584, and 4 payments at the backend of $102.

Instance of Inception: On July 21, 2010, a caller incepts a false rumor into ESPN radio hosts that Rick DiPietro was in a car accident and suffered a broken shoulder. The news spreads rapidly around the hockey world.

Conclusion: Islanders’ GM Garth Snow called DiPietro to confirm that the rumors were not true, but DiPietro did break his shoulder while attempting to pick up the phone.

Instance of Inception: On July 23, 2010, the KHL owners collectively enter the subconscious of the league president in order to have him issue a league-wide ban on the annoying Vuvuzuelas.

Conclusion: Now the only things that blow in the KHL are the actual players.

At this point, it should be noted that Inception is not always successful.

Failed Inception: Last summer, the Oilers’ staff met with Dany Heatley and tried to perform inception with the idea that he should waive his no trade clause to come to Edmonton.

Explanation: Some ideas are just too ridiculous and outrageous even for someone’s subconscious to believe.

Failed Inception: The Ottawa Senators’ players broke into Sidney Crosby’s hotel room to try and get into his head during the 2010 playoffs.

Explanation: The Sens found that inception on Crosby was impossible because of his need to be woken up every 2 hours to have his diaper changed and to be breast-fed.

One of the issues with inception is for a person to figure out if they are in awake or actually dreaming. People often have a way that can help them decipher between the two.

Player: Alexander Ovechkin

Object: Ovechkin always has a small glass in his pocket when he is dreaming, because he knows when he is awake, he would never have a cup.

Player: Patrice Bergeron

Object: This one is tricky – when he’s in a dream he’s conscious; but when he is in reality he’s unconscious.

Finally, the worst thing that can happen during an inception mission is that the person remains in limbo. This results in a person being unable to distinguish reality from fiction, and becoming convinced certain ideas are true even though they make no rational sense. This explains how HockeyBuzz comes up with their rumors.

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