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Why Randy Moss is Not on the St. Louis Rams

Posted By Bear Heiser On Nov 3 2010 @ 5:35 pm In St. Louis Rams | No Comments

Ready to hear something funny?

When you are done reading every post on Bleacher Report, head over to TheRealRandyMoss.com and check out the poll question.

I’ll just tell you about it so you don’t have to wait. The real Randy Moss is conducting a fan poll to see where the fans want him to play. He lists three teams to choose from.

Seattle

Rams

Miami

According to TheRealRandyMoss.com, over three thousand votes have been cast. The people have spoken–45 percent say the Rams, 40 percent say Miami, leaving 15 percent to Seattle.

I listed the teams above as they are listed on his site. Seattle, Miami, the Rams. He could have gone all three cities, or all three team names.

Leaves me to wonder if “theRealRandyMoss” couldn’t remember what city the Rams play. Now I know he didn’t make the poll himself, but he had to tell somebody which three to list.

Too bad the Titans were nowhere to be found on the list. I bet he forgot about them.

Read on for the reasons why the Rams passed on Moss.

Harmful to Society

[1]Do the Rams really want this guy representing them?

Now personally I don’t have a problem with Moss’ antics, but new Rams Stan Kroenke might.

Do you remember the 2005 NFC Wild Card game? Specifically when Moss mooned the fans in Green Bay after scoring a tuddy?

Pretty funny stuff.

Anyways–that kind of stuff won’t fly in St. Louis.

The St. Louis police don’t need Moss around either. Remember when he “ran over a cop” with his car in Minnesota way back when? To be fair, I think he only clipped her–just saying.

No Versatility

Let’s be honest here for a second. Randy’s best days are behind him. I haven’t seen him run fast in weeks. I haven’t seen him lay out for a ball in the past two years. He isn’t even an every down player anymore.

Randy only runs three routes in the offense.

  1. standard deep route
  2. a slant
  3. a curl

Don’t get me wrong, when he runs those routes, he is one of the best in the game. When he’s asked to do something that may be outside his comfort zone he becomes an ENORMOUS liability.

The Rams are still rebuilding. They needs guys that can multi-task, not Randy Moss.

Not Dangerous in the Red Zone

Name five receivers who are better in the red zone than Randy Moss. I’m going to answer with you. Here I go:

Reggie Wayne, Andre Johnson, Hakeem Nicks, Roddy White, Calvin Johnson, Terrell Owens, DeSean Jackson, Steve Johnson(look at his numbers before you give me a look), Anquan Boldin, Dwayne Bowe.

Off the top of my head, I was able to come up with 10.

Did I miss anybody?

Randy Moss is no longer an elite player in the NFL.

What He Doesn’t Do

See the picture? Randy is jogging. That’s pretty much all he does when he is on the field. [2]

Here is a list of what he doesn’t do:

Doesn’t finish plays

Doesn’t block

Doesn’t run fast

Doesn’t seem like he gives a crap

Seems like there is a better chance of me winning the lottery than Randy playing a full game at full speed.

He’s High Maintenance

There is nothing more annoying in life than someone who is high maintenance. Randy Moss is the definition of high maintenance.

I’ve dated women who require less maintenance than Randy.

I’ve had cars that require less maintenance than Randy.

Brett Favre is less maintenance than Randy Moss. Wait–that’s not true. Who am I kidding?

Most common word I’ve heard used to describe Moss is–distraction.

I’ve seen the Rams play. At times this season, they’ve managed to seem distracted with Moss thousands of miles away.

I’m glad he’s staying far away.

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