That’s right, I said it. I am hereby calling for the arrest of the Blues management team. It is time to name names. Here are the defendants. Let’s begin at the top. Dave W. Checketts. The “W” certainly does not stand for “wallet”. Michael McCarthy, Vice Chairman and CEO. Kenneth Munoz, Alternate Governor. Carl Vogel, Partner. Steven Potter, Partner. Tom Stillman, Minority Owner. John Davidson, President of Hockey Operations. The official charge, impersonating a hockey managerial corporation. The sentence, having to watch their own product in solitary confinement 23 out of 24 hours. Videos will be shown of Brad Boyes trying to backcheck. David Backes attempting to win a draw. Patrik Berglund searching for his heart. And Eric Brewer taking a pass from Jaroslav Halak. Their one hour of free time must be spent reviewing the countless missed opportunities to improve the team. Conjugal visits with Chris Pronger will be allowed only on Sunday mornings . That way they can review the disaster that most likely occurred just 12 hours earlier while Pronger administers crosschecks to the throat. Kerry Fraser will be the guard but no penalty will be called. The defendants will all have cellmates that resemble Tony Twist and Marty McSorley in their prime. The prosecuting attorney will be Scotty Bowman. The judge will be Mike Keenan. The guilty verdict will be faster than an Al MacInnis slapshot.
This collective group of criminals can easily be charged with a second count of burglary and fraud. If the Blues continue on their current slide, dare I say a murder charge might be in their future? The previous front office knuckleheads have never been held accountable. I’m referring to the geniuses who over the many gut-wrenching years made decisions such as these: Drafting Jocelyn Lemieux 10th overall in 1986. The delusional group later admitted the mistake, saying they thought Jocelyn was a clone of Mario. How about just two years later when the outfit in charge traded Doug Gilmour, Mark Hunter, Steve Bozek and Michael Dark to Calgary for Mike Bullard, Craig Coxe and the unforgettable Tim Corkery. Doug Gilmour for crying out loud!!! Then four years later the highly intelligent suits thought dealing Adam Oates for Craig Janney would be a bright idea. Yep, Brett Hull and Adam Oates made a horrible duo. Of course, who could have expected teammate Brendan Shanahan to steal Janney’s wife away. Hey, there’s no crime in that so relax. And speaking of Hull, how about not re-signing him just because he wanted a no-trade clause. How dare The Golden Brett wanting to end his career in St. Louis. But oh how I digress. Let’s please get back to our current cast of blue collar criminals.
The team had an anemic offense last season. Take away Keith Tkachuk and Paul Kariya. Add not much else in the way of scoring and what do you have? Even a concussed David Perron knows the answer to this. Yes, an even weaker offense! Then take into consideration injuries at some point will surely happen. A team thin on depth to begin with will then begin to cave and crumble. Sound familiar?
Go ahead and try to defend these dunderheads. There is simply no defense. Johnny Cochrane (RIP) wouldn’t even take this case on. The only question that truly remains is how do we rehabilitate these creeps? That is if you believe criminals deserve a second chance. I call on this embarrassing group to take responsibility for their actions, or lack thereof. Communicate with the fans that spend an enormous amount of money. Prove to your players that help at some point will be on the way. Why would an attractive free agent want to play in St. Louis if management does not show they are completely committed to winning? The time is now for these convicts to right their wrongs. Ask for forgiveness and dedicate yourselves to being the very best you can be. Send in your resignation immediately if you don’t possess the belief to achieve greatness. Blues fans have been sentenced to mediocrity and failure for too many years. Prisoners Checketts, McCarthy, Munoz, Vogel, Potter, Stillman and Davidson, your judgement day is right around the corner!
About the Author
Written by Dave Frederick
Dave has spent more than 20 years covering the NHL for a variety of different media outlets. Most notably ESPN, Fox Sports and the National Hockey League.