Dear Santa, it’s me Shane. I’ve tried to be a good boy this year. I haven’t thrown anything at my TV all season despite how badly I wanted to. I’ve even tried to play nice with others which can be trying sometimes with a co-host like Dan Rakusan! Speaking of Dan you may want to help the Rangers make the playoffs this season. I’m afraid his head may pop off in anger soon if they don’t or if Glen Sather doesn’t get canned. But enough about him, it’s time to get a little selfish.
Now look I’m going to be blunt. You’ve screwed me over a fair bit in regards to the Flames for the past 20 years with the exception of 2004 and the red mile run. I sat through the ‘Young Guns’ era of the Flames and understood that they would be bad because they couldn’t afford to keep good players. Well now the Calgary Flames can compete financially however the guy steering the ship is a touch on the incompetent side. So Santa I’m asking for you to help make Darryl Sutter disappear.
I know it’s not a good thing to ask maybe you could pop down the chimney and give him a beating with your sack of toys, until he agrees to resign. Or even better maybe you could just stuff him in the sack and bring him back to the North Pole with you! I’m sure with a lobotomy he would make a fine elf or helper of some sort. Santa that is my Christmas wish make Darryl Sutter go away so we can start to rebuild the Calgary Flames. I’m tired of this team making Mathieu Garon look like a Vezina candidate.
But I don’t want you to think I’m only thinking about myself so I have a small list of gift ideas for the Flames themselves…
For the Flames ownership group a bag of nuts. They clearly don’t have any of their own or Sutter would have been canned a long time ago.
For Miikka Kiprusoff a trade to a contender. The guy deserves it. Let him play for a team that can score more than two goals a game.
For Mark Giordano a PR team. As soon as people in the East find out who he is, he will be talked about with the other top D in the league.
For Jay Bouwmeester. Peace on earth, or at least peace in Calgary. The guy actually has found his game and is good again. Lets leave him alone.
For Olli Jokinen a nice new Camcorder. So Olli can record his recent play so that he remembers he can be a good player when he has some confidence!
For Tim Jackman a new contract. He’s the only guy that has been good every game for Calgary.
Craig Conroy a new job as the color commentator for Flames games. Connie got his 1000th game and has been good for years but it’s time for him to get in the press box. Not to mention he would be great at it!
Finally for Jarome Iginla a choice. Do you want to stay and rebuild or do you want to be traded? you’ve earned the right to make that call, and everyone will say it was the Flames idea if you do wish to be dealt.
Thanks Santa! I hope you bring us everything we need. I’d also accept another miracle run to the Finals of course but could we make sure that when the puck goes in in game 6 this time it counts!
Have a good one!
Follow me on twitter! www.twitter.com/shanehoopfer
About the Author
Written by Shane Hoopfer
Die hard Flames fan since 1980, and a closet baseball junkie. Also a big Dolphins, and Stampeders fan!