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Marketing Tips for trading Andrei Kostitsyn

Posted By Corey Krakower On Jan 14 2011 @ 12:22 pm In Montreal Canadiens | 3 Comments

This flu bug is killing the Habs. It renders players useless, it frustrates the coaches, and you never know who it is going to negatively affect next. Of course, by flu bug, I mean Andrei Kostitsyn. Those who read this blog often or even follow me on twitter know that I have been a big proponent of trading AK46. In fact, earlier in the year when Kostitsyn got off to a great start; there were some who suggested “he has finally figured it out” whereas my mentality was “sell the asset at its highest value”.

The Canadiens currently sit in 7th place in the Eastern Conference with 51 pts (3 pts ahead of the 9th place Carolina Hurricanes). The playoffs are not a guarantee for the Habs, which is why they can’t really afford to sit around and wait for Kostitsyn to get going and then trade him. This needs to get done now.

The best way to trade Andrei Kostitsyn is with good PR. No one puts an ad in the classifieds for a used car saying “been in 3 accidents, way too many miles on the car, the brakes are terrible and the car is scratched up.” With that same logic, Pierre Gauthier can’t be focusing on the negatives when selling Andrei. Here are some marketing tips for trading Andrei Kostitsyn.

Instead of “inconsistent”, say “when he’s on his game, he’s very good”.

Instead of saying “poor work ethic”, say “he works hard at not having to work hard”.

Andrei Kostitsyn is not a bottom 6 forward, he is our best European winger.

Rather than acknowledging that “our coaches can’t motivate him”, play a clip of Jacques Martin talking, wait 20 minutes, wake up the GM in question and throw in a “you see what I mean”.

Remember, there’s also a big difference between “shying away from physical contact” and “his body is in very good condition”

When asked why he has only scored 1 goal in his last 19 games, be sure to mention that he is saving himself for the playoffs.

Instead of just saying “despite his decent size, he will never take off his helmet and drop his gloves to stand up for a teammate”, follow that up by adding “if you’ve seen his hair, you would understand his reluctance to do so.”

And of course, when talking to St. Louis, when mentioning “too many turnovers”, be sure to add, “but I’m sure your newly acquired Kyle Wellwood will LOVE that.”

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