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Top 10 Pierre Gauthier Excuses for Trade Deadline Inactivity

Posted By Corey Krakower On Mar 2 2011 @ 4:46 pm In Montreal Canadiens | 15 Comments

A Montreal tradition lives on!

The NHL Trade Deadline has passed and Monrealers are furious, like every year, that the General Manager of the Montreal Canadiens did nothing. Philadelphia, Boston, Tampa Bay, Washington and Pittsburgh all improved their teams, while the Habs seemed content to stand pat. With the roster as it is right now, it’s hard for fans to see how this team can replicate last year’s playoff performance.

Fortunately, angry Canadiens fans can get some closure with this exclusive list of GM Pierre Gauthier’s Deadline Inactivity Excuses.

10 – Half the people in Canada took the day off to watch TV. Why should I be any different?

9 – I tried to trade Lars Eller and Ian Schultz for Jaroslav Halak, but I got an email from the league telling me “The NHL will not approve such a ridiculously lopsided trade.”

8 – I actually did make a trade, I just shouldn’t have let Jacques Martin make the trade call. The deal was never processed because his voice put the NHL representative to sleep.

7 – I desperately tried to add some size up front. It’s not my fault that the Lightning really don’t want to trade Martin St. Louis.

6 – There was major confusion on our end when we tried to trade Hal Gill. I wasn’t sure if “no movement clause” meant he needs to approve a trade, or if he is unable to move when on skates.

5 – The goal of the trade deadline is to improve your team. Did I not accomplish that by declaring that Jaroslav Spacek will miss the rest of the season?

4 – I sent Scott Gomez to the Sharks to get rid of him for good and make the fans happy. Unfortunately, when I pushed him off my boat into the ocean, I didn’t realize he was wearing a life jacket.

3 – Andrei Kostitsyn was traded to the Predators, but he failed his physical with Nashville’s team doctors. Apparently, the test results revealed that he has no heart.

2 – We were close to dealing Lars Eller to Washington, but the Capitals backed out in the end because they felt their AHL team is good enough as it is.

1 – I don’t like double standards. When I get paid millions of dollars and fail to perform under pressure, people yell and scream. I guess these critics don’t watch Tomas Plekanec in the playoffs.

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