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Top 10 Mike Murphy Excuses

Posted By Corey Krakower On Mar 10 2011 @ 12:23 am In Around The Rinks | 1 Comment

Public enemy number one in the hockey world is no longer Zdeno Chara, as Mike Murphy (NHL VP of Hockey Operations) has become the new most hated person in hockey. Murphy elected not to suspend the Bruins defenseman after reviewing a vicious hit on Max Pacioretty that landed the promising young Montreal Canadiens forward in the hospital. Usually Colin Campbell is the one who imposes supplementary discipline on players, but since this incident involved his son’s team, it was Mike Murphy’s job to handle this situation.

Murphy did release a short statement explaining his logic, but one has to wonder if there were some other factors that played a role in this decision. Here are the Top 10 Mike Murphy Excuses.

10 – He was clearly faking; Bruce Boudreau even told me Pacioretty is a diver.

9 – I finally found a way to get people to forget about all of my questionable decisions on goal reviews.

8 – In my defense, all suspensions have to be approved by Gary Bettman. I kept giving him different numbers and asked him higher or lower, and as usual the answer was the same every time – go south.

7 – In my discipline hearing, Chara made some very good points. I gave Pacioretty the chance to respond but it was difficult to follow his train of thought while he kept drifting in and out of a coma.

6 – Max Pacioretty should not be playing hockey if hitting 1 bar can knock you out. Charlie Sheen, for example, can hit 4 or 5 bars in one night before losing consciousness.

5 – The fact that the player is expected to make a full recovery factored into the decision. Pacioretty is even being transferred to a hospital in Ontario to get better care. He said he would rather be in the #1 hospital in Hamilton than in the #3 or #4 hospital in Montreal.

4 – It’s not like Pacioretty will not be able to live a normal life. Despite the possibility of limited mobility and poor reaction skills, Max can eventually get a job where those qualities are not relevant, like as an accountant, a writer or as a #1 goalie for the Senators.

3 – I’m more concerned about my suspension. The NHL always looks at what precedent has been set, and so because of that whole Wisniewski-Oral Sex incident, I’m in trouble for blowing this.

2 – The injury wasn’t even severe. For years, Barry Trotz has functioned without a neck.

1 – I didn’t want to do a press conference announcing supplemental discipline since I would have been embarrassed because my pants kept falling down all day. I guess I don’t know how to suspend them.

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