Hello, my name is Michael Waterloo. I’m a 24-year-old from Pittsburgh. You remember, your old stomping grounds. I have grown up loving the game of baseball and especially my hometown Pirates. As you may know, the Pirates haven’t had a winning season since 1992, the last season you were in town, ironically enough. Boy, has a lot changed here in Pittsburgh and in Major League Baseball since then. MLB had a strike, Boston ended their supposed curse, the homerun record was broken by Mark McGwire, and then you ended up breaking his record with 73 homeruns in a season. That was a very remarkable feat, Barry! I won’t forget watching your record-breaking homer while in the airport in Atlanta. That is something I will never, ever forget. Your father Bobby would have been proud of you that night, Barry.
My, how much you have grown since your time in Pittsburgh! Usually adults stop growing around 21 years of age, but you were a rare case that you kept growing into your 30s! It wasn’t just your arms or torso that got bigger, but your hat and shoe size both went up, too. It’s weird to see pictures of you in a Giants uniform in your later career side-by-side with pictures of you in your Pirates uniform in your more “scrawny” days. I think it may have had something to do with that cream that you rubbed on your body, Barry. Some tried to say that the cream was actually steroids, but we all believe you when you said you didn’t have any knowledge that that’s what it was. Same goes with the stuff in the syringe that your loyal trainer, Greg Anderson, injected you with. What athlete would purposely take steroids with the shrunken testicles and well-known health damage down the road, just to hit a lot of homeruns and succeed in their profession? Certainly not you, Barry. Don’t worry, we believe you.
We believe you just like we believed in you that infamous evening in October, 1992, when Andy Van Slyke told you to shade towards left-center field when Francisco Cabrera came to the plate. Though Cabrera drove in Sid Bream to give the Braves the shocking win in Game 7 in the NLCS, how could we blame you, the great Barry Bonds, he of the gold glove? Some fans were upset at you, but it was only because they were upset to see you leave Pittsburgh. You have always proved to be a good guy, Barry, but obviously just misunderstood. It wasn’t that you hated the fans when you didn’t sign autographs, you just were shy. Having your locker by itself, isolated from your teammates didn’t make you a bad person, you were just socially awkward. We all know that Jeff Kent provoked you in the dugout when you two fought. You were always the peacemaker. Now, the government tried to nail you with perjury charges, claiming you lied under oath. It must have been unjustified, since you were exonerated and they convicted you only of obstruction of justice.
Before your head gets any bigger, Barry, I hope you realize the sarcasm in this letter.
You are and have always been a disgrace to the game of baseball. You were the best Pirate I have ever gotten to watch and I was only 6 years old at the time. Not only were you a jerk to the fans, your teammates, and the media, but you were jealous, Barry. You were jealous of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa for what they did in 1998 when they single-handedly brought fans back to baseball. So what do you do? You take steroids to get bigger and make sure that you crush the homerun record and have the focus on YOU. The sad thing is, Barry, you were such a great talent – a true 5-tool player – and you never needed the steroids. Your ego felt you needed them. Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Alex Rodriguez, Miguel Tejada, McGwire, Sosa and you – all of you should be ashamed of what you did to tarnish America’s pastime. You didn’t just let down the fans, Barry, you let down your father and godfather, Willie Mays. Both were always such a class-acts, and Bobby is surely rolling over in his grave by the disgrace that you brought to his family name and legacy.
Since even before the Mitchell Report was released, you have denied any use of steroids. Once your name was out there, you then denied ever “knowingly” taking steroids. With as big as your head is, Barry, you thought you were invincible and untouchable. So you decided that it was a good idea to lie under oath about taking steroids. Well, Barry, the government is one group you don’t lie to. You may have gotten away this time with just the obstruction of justice crime since the 3 perjury charges got dropped due to a split decision between jurors, but they will be back and they will get you. Soon enough you will slip up and your puppet, Mr. Anderson, will testify against you and they will put you away for good.
You may have the single-season and all-time records for homeruns, and you may have had a hall-of-fame career, but get one thing straight, Barry: If your name ever does appear in the record books, it will be accompanied by asterisks and a note about how the records were attained while cheating, stealing and lying. Roger Maris is still the single-season homerun king, Hank Aaron is still the all-time homerun king, and Pete Rose has more of a chance to get into Cooperstown than you ever will.
About the Author
Written by Michael Waterloo
I'm currently pursuing my Master's degree in Communication and Journalism from Clarion University. I currently work for Ohio Valley Athletics where I serve as the West Virginia Football Beat Writer and cover West Virginia Men's Basketball as well. I'm a big Pittsburgh Pirates, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Penguins, Pitt Panthers and Oregon Ducks fan. Follow me on Twitter at @MichaelWaterloo or visit www.ovathletics.com