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Who Killed Osama? The Top 10 NHL Suspects

Posted By Corey Krakower On May 4 2011 @ 12:52 am In NHL | No Comments

I wish I could see video of the Osama bin Laden murder just to hear Jack Edwards on NESN do the play by play. “The US troops move in…and BIN LADEN GOES DOWN AS IF SHOT! GET UP! GET UP!”

With the recent killing of Osama bin Laden, America has rejoiced, but the identity of who shot him remains unknown. This was a top secret mission with a top secret team, so it really could be anyone. For my part, here are some people in the NHL who could have been involved.

Top 10 Osama bin Laden Murder Suspects in the NHL

10 – The identity of the killer is unknown, but it is said that the person “stuck their neck out”. That rules out Barry Trotz.

9 – Mike Gillis was interrogated but continues to deny involvement. When asked if he was ever contacted to be a part of the mission he said, “no, I never get any calls.”

8 – The Phoenix Coyotes players declined an opportunity to participate in the ambush. There were 15-20 bodies in the mansion, and they would have been overwhelmed being in a building with that many people.

7 – There were rumors that some of the Montreal Canadiens were involved, but that’s unlikely since it was a large team ambushing the compound, and Jacques Martin would only send in a maximum of 1 attacker.

6 – Kyle Wellwood is a suspect under the premise that he was asked to go on a top-secret mission with five guys. Wellwood accepted instantly, thinking they were talking about hamburgers.

5 – Many members of the Atlanta Thrashers are admitting to have killed Osama with the hope that they will be sent to prison instead of having to play hockey in Winnipeg.

4 – Because Colin Campbell was hired to direct the mission, its likely that the Boston Bruins attacked Osama bin Laden, since he always lets them get away with murder.

3 – Mike Green was involved but not as the killer; he was a member of the security team that the US Navy Seals walked right around.

2 – It was reported that the Philadelphia Flyers tried to retrieve bin Laden’s dead body. As soon as they heard that 2 shots hit him, he would have immediately become their number one goalie.

1 – Patrick Kane remains the prime suspect; especially considering Osama bin Laden looks like most cab drivers.

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