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CM Punk comes out with a megaphone to start this week’s RAW, and he is handed a microphone then he sits in the middle of the ring. He asks if he has everyone’s attention now, and recaps the past two weeks about his actions and resulting suspension, and says he got suspended because he has the balls to say the truth. He calls everyone a bunch of ass kissers and says he is reinstated, and his megaphone is backup in case he gets cut off again. Punk says Vince is bending over backwards to resign him, and all he ever wanted was the mic, because the mic is power and he is the hottest thing in wrestling today. Vince sees it now because Punk made WWE socially relevant, because all you ever hear about wrestling is that someone died. He talks about all the people who want him on their show and says if Vince was this nice five years ago he wouldn’t be this angry.

Punk sits back down in the ring and he says he knows Vince will try to negotiate, but Vince also likes to do new things, and he thinks they should negotiate live in the ring. He also thinks he will do one more thing and have Vince join the CM Punk kiss my ass club! John Cena comes out and says if he wants to talk they can talk and Punk mocks him. Punk thanks him for getting him reinstated to a job that he didn’t want, because now he is going to change the look of the title when he beats Cena. He says it’s been ugly for far too long, and he doesn’t have to worry about being fired because it won’t happen. It lasted about a week last year, and he doesn’t have to worry about it because Vince won’t do it. Cena says he is sick of hearing Punk run his mouth and he should think about who he is facing in Chicago. Cena is the best because he has the WWE title and he earned it, and he beat everybody before him. He says he is going to Money In The Bank in Chicago and he is going to whip Punk’s ass.

Cole interrupts with an email and says Vince is on his way to negotiate with Punk, but he thinks Cena should be in action if it is his last night on RAW. He is told to stay in the ring because he will be in a special match next.

Handicap Match
John Cena vs David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty

Cena takes down Otunga and he tags out to McGillicutty, and Cena puts him in a side headlock then hits a shoulder block. He follows with a hip toss and a forearm drop, and McGillicutty rolls outside and regroups with Otunga as we go to a commercial. When we return, McGillicutty has Cena in a headlock and he is trying to keep him on the ground. Cena rolls out and he gets accidentally kicked into Otunga, then they use quick tags and double teams to keep Cena in the corner. Otunga whips him in the corner and sets up a suplex, but Cena reverses it into one of his own then hits some shoulder blocks off the ropes. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries an AA on McGillicutty, but Otunga breaks it up and they hit a double team move for two.

McGillicutty takes Cean up top for a superplex but Cena headbutts him off the top and fights off Otunga and nails a legdrop. He slaps on the STF but Otunga breaks it up and they work on Cena in the corner. McGillicutty hits a corner clothesline and Otunga tries to follow him but misses, then Cena hits McGillicutty with the AA, throws Otunga out of the ring and runs back over to McGillicutty and makes the cover.

Winner – John Cena

Dolph and Vickie are talking in the back and Dolph says Vince should just fire both Punk and Cena and focus on him. He wants the United States Championship to be the premiere title because he is the premiere superstar in WWE. They practice what Dolph will say to Vickie them and Drew McIntyre comes in and all three mock Vince. They have a laugh about it until Vince comes over and says they are rising stars and deserve a big match. He puts them in a match with Big Show then asks if any of them have a mint. He says it’s because he doesn’t want bad breath, and they slowly walk away as Scott Stanford comes over. He asks Vince about the negotiations, and Vince responds by telling everyone they can go to hell.

Melina vs Kelly Kelly

Melina hip tosses Kelly and kicks her in the back then chokes her with her own arms. Kelly fights out and hits a clothesline, then a handspring elbow and a stinkface for two. She kicks Melina in the stomach and hits a K2 and picks up the win.

The Bellas grab a mic after the bell and say now that is over so maybe Kelly can go find some food now. They say she is clown faced and she needs Proactiv like Katy Perry did. They say Katy is a teenage dream but Kelly is a malnourished nightmare. Kelly snaps and attacks Brie but Nikki kicks her off and they attack her. Eve tries to make the save for her friend but the twins hold their ground and leave Kelly and Eve laying in the ring.

Winner – Kelly Kelly

Miz comes out and sits on top of a ladder and says he enjoys looking down on everyone else, and he is used to being the best. He says he has the advantage because he knows the path to the championship, and the other guys getting close won’t cut it. Miz says everyone will find out that he still has what it takes to be a champion and he is still the future. He tells all the pretenders they will learn why he is the Miz and… he is interrupted by Jack Swagger. Swagger says he also won the match and cashed in to become champion and he is going to do it again. Miz says no one remembers it so it’s like it didn’t happen.

Evan Bourne comes out and says he is tired of what they did, but he will steal the show Sunday and win the contract. Kofi Kingston comes out and says he respects everyones confidence but they are putting their bodies on the line for the contract. He won’t win because of what he says tonight, he will win because of his actions. He says Edge put his body on the line in matches like this and he had to retire. Truth comes out and says everyone keeps talking about Punk and Cena but he beat Cena two weeks ago. He put him through a table for everyone to see and now he still has to climb a ladder. He has to climb and grab the briefcase and he has arachnophobia. He starts saying he better not see any spiders or the briefcase is gun get got.

Riley runs out to the ring and chases Miz off then Alberto Del Rio comes out in his car. He says it is a disgrace that has to be in the match because he beat Rey Mysterio to become number one contender and now he has to do everything over. He says Cena is afraid of him and he will teach everyone a lesson and they should not mess with destiny. Cole gets another email and says they will have a match since there are six of the participants in the ring. It will be Miz, Truth and Swagger against Bourne, Kofi and Riley, and it will start right now.

Miz, R-Truth & Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston & Alex Riley

Swagger and Miz work on Bourne in their corner then Truth gets in on the action and pounds on Bourne to keep him in the ring. He gets a few near falls then chokes Bourne and goes for an axe kick. Bourne ducks and hits a heel kick, then gets the tag to Kofi who hits some kicks on Truth then hits a Boom Drop. He knocks Swagger off the apron and hits a crossbody off the top but Miz breaks up the pinfall. Truth clotheslines Kofi through the ropes and he lands on his head as we go to a break.

When we get back, Miz is attacking Kofi then tags out to Truth, who applies a legscissors headlock in the middle of the ring. Kofi rolls out but Truth keeps him grounded and tags in Swagger, and they try to double team Kofi but he counters with a double DDT. He crawls and makes the tag to Riley and he hits a spinebuster on Swagger then throws Miz in the ring. Truth tries a sneak attack but Bourne cuts him off, and Riley knees Swagger in the head and hits a lifting DDT for the win.

Winners – Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston & Alex Riley

Miz runs in and hits a SCF on Riley then Kofi kicks Miz outside. It gets a little crazy here as Truth clotheslines Kofi over the top rope and Bourne knocks him down with a heel kick. Truth is in position and Bourne goes to the top rope, but Alberto runs back out to the ring and shoves him off the top turnbuckle. Alberto takes a ladder in the ring and starts attcking the other guys with it then celebrates as they all lay beaten in the ring.

Handicap Match
Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre vs Big Show

Show pulls Drew over the top rope and chops Dolph off the apron, then hits Drew with a short arm clothesline and a bodyslam. Show throws Drew over the top rope and goes outside and throws him into the barricade, while Dolph tries to hide on the other side. Drew tries to run but Show catches him at the top of the ramp and throws him headfirst into the WWE symbol on the stage. The bell rings and they are both counted out, but Show is not done and he pulls Drew near the edge of the stage. He picks him up for a chokeslam as Mark Henry runs out and hits a running shoulder block that sends all three of them crashing through the stage!

Result – No Contest

Vince starts to make his way out and teases the fans to get a bigger pop, then waits for Justin Roberts to stop talking. He comes out with a contract and shakes a fan’s hand and ignores Cole while he grabs a mic. He finally gets in the ring and says he is Vince McMahon and he hopes no one is upset that he won’t join the Kiss My Ass Club, because it will never happen. He says contracts should not be discussed in public but that’s what Punk wants so he tells him to get out there.

Punk makes his way out and mocks Vince’s walk at the top of the stage and comes out with a folder of his own. Vince tries to shake his hand and gets ignored, then sits down and talks about terms of the contract. Punk laughs and says he didn’t think Vince would go through with it, and knows he has no faith in Cena. Vince says Cena has nothing to do with it, and he couldn’t live with it if Punk actually left the company with the championship. Punk says he didn’t like the contract Vince had so he wrote a new one, and says he wants to tell everyone some of the new provisions. Punk says he will push Vince and kick him in the nuts, and Vince has to smile and take it or Punk will leave Sunday with the title.

Punk reads the provisions, and he wants his face on ring parts and merchandise, and he wants Vince to bring back the WWE ice cream bars. (Which gets a huge pop from the crowd.) Punk wants them to start production of his movie, and it will be better, funnier and more successful than The Chaperone. He also says he will be the main event of Wrestlemania, and Rock/Cena can still happen, but Punk will main event the show no matter what.

Punk says on top of all of that, he wants Vince to apologize for suspending him, and for being a jerk and a bully. Punk says Vince is the biggest bully of all, and he fired a bunch of his friends who were deserving of their spots. He tells Vince he is pissed because he doesn’t know what a Superstar is in 2011 and says Vince will apologize because guys like Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows aren’t there to speak for themselves.

Vince tries to get Punk to calm down and sign the contract but Punk tells Vince to sign his version to save himself more embarrassment. A loud we want wrestling chant breaks out and Vince screams that he doesn’t give a damn, and Punk cares too much. He says he is a bad guy, but he is in touch with what they all want, and he thinks Boston wants an apology. Vince says he is sorry, but Punk isn’t happy and gets him to repeat it. Vince calls him a son of a bitch and Punk says that was better than the World Championship, and tells Vince to hurry up and sign the contract.

Before he can get to it, Cena comes out and says he should love this, and they will love them in Chicago, but Punk will walk out on all of that. Cena says he wanted a match and he is sick of listening to them whine about what they want and deserve, and he hates Vince too. He tells a stupid joke about Vince and a floormat, and says he sucks it up eventhough he hates Vince because he does it for the fans. He brings up The Rock and says he promised to never leave, and Punk is asking Vince to make promises he can’t deliver. Punk says he is taking the title because he doesn’t fit Vince’s mold and he thinks Cena lost sight of what it’s like to be the underdog. He brings up being on the car during Cena’s Wrestlemania 22 entrance and he promised himself that he wouldn’t watch Cena from outside, but he would get in the ring and watch Cena see himself lose to Punk.

Punk says Cena is the one that lost sight, and he is like his hometown sports teams where they think they are the underdog. Punk says he is glad Cena’s family is here to hear this, because Cena has become everything he hates. Cena isn’t the underdog anymore because he became a dynasty. He says Cena has become the Yankees and he eats a fist for his comments. Punk retreats up the ramp then stops and tells them to cut the music. Punk says he is glad it went down like this because he is tired of Cena, and Sunday night he will leave with the title, and tears up the contract on the stage.

Sources: wrestlezone, wwe.com

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Written by Justin Barracosa
My name is Justin Barracosa. I have extensive training in martial arts having trained for the previous 18 years in various styles of karate, judo and jiu-jitsu. I attend most UFC events, and have yet to miss an event. I have become friends with several sources whom are UFC insiders under various circumstances and on occasion will present info before anyone else on the internet. This is my passion. I hope you enjoy reading my opinions as much as i enjoy writing them. Please feel absolutely welcomed to voice your opinion, positive, negative, big or small. There are no hard feelings here, so say your peace! I may from time to time take the opposing road just to see who knows their stuff! Happy reading MMA fans, and keep training hard! Your friend in sport, Justin Barracosa.